His Last Words
by shulesaddict77
Summary: He wrote her a letter. The last words she would ever hear from him.


**Don't ask me where this came from. I have actually no clue. It's labeled tragedy for a reason and you might cry. It's the saddest thing I have ever written for CS. I started writing this on my way home from work and I almost started crying in the middle of the train, so … consider yourself warned!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything! **

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**His Last Words**

Henry pulled Leslie into his arms, hugging her tightly as his little sister sobbed into his shirt. Biting his lip, he fought against the tears himself. They knew it was coming. But knowing that they would lose him didn't make it any easier to say goodbye.

Not even his mother's magic could help. She had tried until the last minute to heal him but she didn't succeed. Even their love wasn't strong enough to keep him here and now he was gone.

Ryan was standing beside them, his hands balled into tight fists as he stared over to their mother who was standing stock still in front of the grave. Henry could see his lips quiver as he opened his mouth, his voice coming out in a hoarse croak.

"She will follow him soon, won't she?" He turned his head, looking at his older brother, his eyes shimmering with tears.

"Yes." Henry said quietly, not able to lie to him. "She will. You know how great their love was for each other. I don't think she would be able to live without him even if she wanted to try."

"I don't want to lose her."

"Me neither." Henry wrapped one arm around Leslie and stepped towards his brother, pulling him into his side. "But she belongs to him. You know that."

"So you think there is an afterlife?" Leslie lifted her head, staring up at him. "That they will be reunited?"

"I hope so." Henry replied, his eyes wandering to their mother, his voice breaking as he continued. "Because a love like theirs deserves to live on forever."

~K&E~

Her eyes were dry, she was out of tears. The hole in her heart, the pain, making it almost impossible to breathe.

He had left her. She knew he would have stayed if he could. She saw him fighting until his last breath. He didn't want to leave her alone. The concern about her was so clear in his eyes, eyes that had lost their brightness after months of pain.

In the end they had lost the battle against the cancer and she had kissed him one last time and told him she would be okay, told him she didn't want him to suffer any longer, told him to go.

He had closed his eyes, the dark shadows underneath, his shrunken cheeks, letting him look like a skeleton.

He hadn't opened his eyes again, slipping away in the silence of the night and she sat at his hospital bed what had seemed for hours, silent tears running down her cheeks as she stared at his pale face.

He was gone. She would never hear his laugh again. She would never hear his lilting voice again. Would never feel his scruff against her cheek again. Would never wake up next to him again. Would never hear him calling her love again.

In that moment she had lost it, the sobs wracking her body as she whispered his name over and over again until the nurse pulled her away and she wanted to scream, wanted to hit her for taking her away from him and she didn't realize that the strange sounds were actually coming out of her mouth until a doctor stepped closer, forcing her to look him in the face and she only understood fragments of what he was telling her, her eyes glued to his form on the bed and she leaped forward, trying to get back to his side but then she felt a slight pinch in her arm and her vision blurred as the sedative took hold of her body and sucked her into darkness.

And now she was here. Standing at his grave. She knew her children were watching her, afraid that she would throw herself into his grave. A sad smile tugged at the corner of her mouth as she heard his voice in her head '_Not bloody likely' _and she almost turned around, expecting him to stand behind her.

But she knew he wasn't there. He was only gone for four days but it felt as if she had lived the last four years without him. She missed him. She missed him so much.

A shadow suddenly fell over her and she looked up, forcing a smile on her face as she saw Henry standing in front of her.

"Dad ..." His voice started shaking and he let his gaze drop to the ground for a second, the emotions rising up in him almost choking him. He had hated the pirate at first. He hadn't wanted him to be part of the family but Killian hadn't pushed him, treated lightly at first and they'd actually grown closer with each passing day until the day he had suddenly called him dad, realizing that he'd been his dad for a very long time.

"He … he gave me this." Henry held out his hand, the white envelope trembling in his outstretched hand. "He said, if he would be the first to go I should give you this."

~K&E~

She was at her favorite spot. Their favorite spot. A clearing deep in the forest surrounding Storybrooke. A place so well hidden that no one ever stumbled over it.

Once a month they'd always sneaked out, telling no one where they were going, spending the day at 'their' clearing. Every month.

She felt her legs almost giving out under her as the memories crashed down on her and she stumbled to the log in the middle of the clearing, slumping down on it and pulling out the letter, her fingers caressed the name written on the envelope. Her name, written down in black ink in his looping scrawl and the tears welled up in her eyes as she imagined him sitting at his desk, his tongue sticking out as always when he was deeply occupied with something.

"God! I miss you so much." She whispered, tears clogging up her throat.

Turning the envelope around slowly, she slipped one finger under the flap, opening it and she bit her lip as she saw his familiar handwriting filling the page, blinking away the tears as she started to read.

_Love,_

_I know you are trying to keep yourself together for our children and I always admired your strength. I never wanted to leave you. I was hoping I wouldn't need to put you through this again. _

_Feeling alone. Feeling abandoned._

_I know you feel that way because I would have felt the same if you would have gone before me. But since you are holding this letter in your hands right now I left first and I'm sorry._

_I'm so sorry that I had to leave you. _

_I love you, Emma. I always have. I always will. _

_We will see each other again. I know we will. If it's in the afterlife or in another life. It doesn't matter, love. I will always come back to you. _

_I know you can live without me, Emma. You are the strongest person I've ever met. Our children need you. _

_I will always be by your side. I will never truly leave you. I'm in your heart until your time comes. But your time is not now, love._

_Stay strong. I believe in you._

_Forever Yours_

_Killian_

A drop fell on the letter, smearing the words and she folded it neatly back together and slipped it back into the envelope, putting it into her jacket before she hugged her knees to her chest.

Would the pain ever stop? Was he right? Could she live without him? Was she strong enough?

Her eyes burned and she pressed her face into the denim of her jeans. She could swear she could hear her heart break as she realized she couldn't do it. She would let him down.

"You are wrong, Killian." Emma breathed, balling her hand into a fist on her knee, a strangled sob ripping through her throat. "I can't live without you. I just can't."

~K&E~

"She is suffering." Henry spoke quietly, looking up at his sister and brother sitting across from him at the kitchen table.

"It's only been two weeks." Leslie stated, trying desperately to cling to any hope.

"We all know that she will not recover from this. It will just get worse."

"We have to let her go." Ryan said softly, turning his head away so that his siblings wouldn't see the tears streaming down his face.

"Who is gonna talk to her?" Leslie whispered, her eyes red from crying.

Clearing his throat, Henry pushed his chair back and stood up. "I will."

~K&E~

"Mum?" Henry stepped into the room carefully, wondering if she was asleep and he already wanted to turn around to let her sleep as he saw her shifting.

"Hey, kiddo." Emma said softly, stretching out a hand.

He sat down beside her on the bed, suddenly feeling the urge to slip under the cover with her and snuggle against her, like he had done a thousand times as a kid. But then he remembered the times he'd slipped under the cover after a nightmare and a strong arm had pulled him into an embrace, enveloping him, giving him the feeling to be completely safe and the loss slammed into him again.

He would never hug him again, he would never tease him again. He might have not been his biological father but he had been his dad in any other way and he missed him so much that it physically hurt and he couldn't imagine how much worse the pain must be for her. He was the love of her life and he needed to tell her that it was okay to follow him.

"We will miss you."

"What do you mean?"

"I … we …" He gulped hard, trying to get out what he wanted to say without falling apart. "We all have our own families now. We … You can go, mum."

"Go where?" She asked, pulling herself up and lifting her hand she put a finger under his chin and tilted his head towards her.

"You belong to him." Henry said softly, raising his hand to wrap his fingers around hers, his eyes stinging with unshed tears as he added. "You can go."

~K&E~

"I'm sorry, Killian. But I can't stay. I'm not strong enough to live without you."

She had said goodbye to all their children, hugged their grandchildren, contemplating all the time if it was a mistake to wish to be with him, if it was a mistake to wish to die to be reunited with him.

She wanted to tell herself that she was acting like a coward, that she should just get out of bed and face a life without him. But she was tired. It wasn't as if she hadn't lived a very satisfying life. The first thirty years might have been anything but great but then she had met Killian and everything had changed and she couldn't go back. She couldn't go back to a life without him. She just couldn't.

She closed her eyes and slowly breathed in and out. She could feel her heart slowing down and she pressed her fist against her chest, feeling her heart giving up, the fear of not finding him rushing through her but then she suddenly felt an arm coming around her waist, someone pulling her back and a lilting voice, a voice she thought she would never hear again, whispered into her ear.

"I'm here, love." His lips brushed over her skin, his voice getting low. "I told you … I will always come back to you."

Turning around she lifted a shaky hand, her fingers trailing over his scruff, tears streaming down her face as he leaned forward and pressed his lips against hers. They were surrounded by light, the borders of their bodies blurred and she felt a slight tug, her fingers tightening around his hand as he pulled her into his arms and took her with him to the other side.

~K&E~

The next morning Henry walked into the room with a breakfast tray in his hands but one look at his mother and he knew she was gone. He lowered the tray, the dishes rattling together as his hands started to tremble and stepping closer he sat down on the bed beside her, his fingers shaking as he brushed a strand of hair away from her face, his heart constricting painfully as he saw the smile on her face.

"You found him." Henry whispered, not able to hold the tears back any longer. "We always find each other."

Leaning forward, he pressed his lips on her forehead. "Tell the pirate I expect him to take care of you now."

He could swear he felt a shift in the air and he shuddered as he could hear him in his head as clear as if he would stand directly beside him.

_Haven't I always, lad?_

He actually chuckled, tears pricking the back of his eyes as the realization hit him square in the chest. They were both gone. His mother whom he'd not known for his first eleven years and a father he'd never expected to have.

Pressing his eyes shut, he put the emotions back into a box. Right now he needed to be there for his sister and brother. He had to arrange another funeral. He had to be strong. He could break down later. At home. With his wife.

He stood up slowly, walking towards the door and before he left the room, he turned around, his gaze lingering on her still form on the bed for a moment.

"Bye, Mom!"

Death was always the hardest for those left behind. But he knew his mother was happy. She was exactly where she wanted to be. Where she belonged.

In the arms of her pirate.


End file.
